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Tuesday, August 7th, 2007
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I'm really not good.
I can't even really remember the last time I was truly happy.
I get fucked up a lot lately. i'm not gonna paint a happy picture for you here, i get trashed out of my mind to the point where i'm blacked out for hours. because, if i dont, i'm sad. if i drink a couple drinks and just chill, i get sad. unbearably sad, its pretty pathetic actually. whats worse is that i dont even know i'm doing it. i don't go into the night saying, "i'm gonna get obliterated tonight" its like my subconscious is telling me i have to get shitfaced because it'll feel good. and you know what, it does. it feels fucking amazing to just not know what the fuck i'm doing or saying or have a reason for doing any of it and just laugh it off in the morning. i've never really told anyone any of this. but i really dont give a shit what anyone thinks about me anymore.
i've stopped talking to a lot of people. i've just completely cut them off from my life. its really a good thing. they think i'm a fucking bitch and thats perfectly fine with me. i just kinda cut the cord because i was too big of a coward to tell them i just plainly didnt want to be their friend anymore.
i've never been the type of person to tell all my problems to people because i have a lot of friends who go through so much shit. I have friends that have a lot of family/friend/relationship/mental/physical problems and they are so justified. they are so right to be hurt and messed up and pitied. me, i have a great family, for the most part i'm lucky. so how can i even say anything at all. i'll just be the girl that wants someone to feel bad for her too. i feel like what i say, they won't understand completely and they'll think i'm just being dramatic or whatever. so i just dont say anything. or i do, and then i laugh at myself because i know i shouldnt have even bothered.
i miss acting.
nothing's enough these days. these months actually. no, wait i think its been about a year since anything's really been enough. i dont know what that feels like anymore.
over the past couple weeks i've been doing things that have actually been scaring me pretty bad. just things i never thought i'd do, like i always said i would be different or some bullshit like that. everyone always wants to be the one thats different. haha.
this summer has been the most surprising and unexpected time of my life.
how are you? HOW ARE YOU? what a good question that no one ever really answers. think about the last time you asked someone that question and they actually really, honestly answered you.
well, here's a start.
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(Soak up the Shimmer)
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Sunday, February 25th, 2007
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| Subject: | no subject |
| Time: | 11:20 pm. |
| Music: | listen-beyonce at the oscars...fucking love this song. |
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Today was one of the strangest days of my life. I don't wanna go into detail about it, but I do just want to remember it.
I kind of feel like I should cry or be really angry, but I'm not crying and I'm not angry, I'm not accepting it and I'm not moving on either. I'm just ignoring it. Thats probably not a good thing, but it's my decision. Everything has changed and yet nothing has changed at all. and you know what? I'm really not making a decision at all because you can't make a decision on something you can't control, when there really are no choices.
"you don't get to choose, you just fall .... and you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know that you love them so much except sometimes they just drive you completely insane and no one can explain it and the reason its so confusing is because its love. but if love didn't have any challenges, what would be the point?"
If this faith that I have is silly and immature and even false, don't even bother telling me, because I'm not gonna hear it.
-Kelsey
ps. i cant wait to be at the Oscars one day
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(Soak up the Shimmer)
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Saturday, February 17th, 2007
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When did I become such a girl?
No, seriously when did I suddenly let a guy consume so many of my thoughts, decisions and reasons for doing anything. because if I remember correctly, this used to be an unattainable idea for me. I either didn't fall hard enough, long enough or I just didn't fall at all.
Somebody just needs to slap me or something cause I want the old Kelsey back. I miss not caring, I don't want to care anymore but I don't know how. Is it really possible to just turn your emotions off, I mean do those people even exist cause I'd love to take a lesson or two and learn where the switch is.
Sometimes I ask myself what I'm waiting for. We're 8 months and counting now and I'm still idle. I mean every once in awhile I'll say to myself, its whatever I'll be over it in a month or two, and every couple of months I surprise myself because reluctantly I'm still in this, I'm still hanging in there.
Listen to Warning Sign by Coldplay. It's a pretty good song but there is this one very small part of the song that is so honest.
"When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.
And I'm tired "
right there. those 3 small words. and what I love especially about that part is that the orchestration of the instrumental is so truthful to the words. And I'm tired. I am so tired. just exhausted by all of this and it's really starting to get to me because I can't stop it. Am I doing something wrong here?
why is it so hard to just let go?
I guess it's all fun and games until you really start liking someone.
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(1 Towel | Soak up the Shimmer)
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Saturday, January 6th, 2007
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1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
mostly everything actually. but really, i think i just learned a lot about myself through other people. before, i had always learned about myself through me and my actions.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i make different resolutions all year long, but never on new years.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope, but that wouldve been exciting!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
all 3 of my great grandparents
5. What countries did you visit?
no countries. however, Pennsylvania, New York, North Carolina and Florida.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
I guess just being more open-minded to change, not letting it affect me negatively. or maybe not depending on other people so much, doing more "me" stuff.
7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
oh man. well, June 11th was cappies which was pretty awesome. June 15th i graduated high school. June 18th-25th beach week in its entirety. June 25th I lost my best friend. July 3rd was the kiss that started it all. August 11th i left for college, hately took me to starbucks and said goodbye. October 6th i saw him again for the first time. December 5th I came home from North Carolina. December 25th, one of the best nights hately and i spent together. December 26th possibly the last time I'll be with him.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
maybe cappies or maybe just getting out and being on my own for the first time.
9. What was your biggest failure?
not getting in the program, but i think everything happens for a reason.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
not really. i got sick a few times.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
the beach week or anna maria house
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
all of my friends make me wanna party
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
oh i'm sure everyone at some point. people will always disapoint you.
14. Where did most of your money go?
food and alcohol
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
parties, prom, graduation, shows, cappies, beach week, john hately, Anna Maria, going home for breaks.
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
Alive with the Glory of Love-Say Anything
Crazy-Gnarls Barkley
Move Along-The All American Rejects
and any and all Low Life, Acceptance, Adelyn, Anberlin, and The Fray.
17.Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
yikes. that depends. I think I'm more excited, so I guess happier.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
working out, saving money
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
thinking
20. How did you spend Christmas?
with my family, avoiding conversation at all cost haha
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
if this isn't love, this is the closest I've ever been. but honestly, I'm afraid I did.
23. How many one night stands?
zero
24. What was your favorite TV program?
really didnt watch a lot of tv this year. probably tbs.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
my opinions have changed dramatically to some peoeple in a negative way. but i dont hate anyone, i dont care enough to hate people.
26. What was the best book you read?
I can't say that I read any books this year, that sounds so bad.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Anberlin, absolutely.
28. What did you want and get?
the perfect end to high school and i kinda asked for someone to knock me off my feet and yeah, I definitely got it.
29. What did you want and not get?
I'm not ready to give up on that yet.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
i never see movies anymore. I adored The Holiday.
31. What did you do on your birthday?
broke up with Christopher, went out to dinner. cant really remember what else. birthdays have never really been a big deal to me.
32. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
meeting hately waaaaaay before june 30th
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
casual, fun
34. What kept you sane?
talking. sometimes i just need to talk.
35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
jude law is just too charming
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I dont like talking about politics
37. Who did you miss?
summer '05 boys and josh and max when they left after beach week
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Emily Labelle
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
Everything happens for reason
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
the world keeps spinning round
my world's upside down and I wouldnt change a thing
-Lifehouse
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(Soak up the Shimmer)
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Friday, November 24th, 2006
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I'm sorry but this is getting really sad. I'm so frustrated with this whole situation that I don't even remember what got me into it. I'm starting to forget what made me so addicted to you. Thats a lie. I'll never forget that. Even when I'm 112 and you are nothing but a microscopic fragment of my life, even then, i think i'll still remember the way you looked at me and the way you were able to make me forget all of the shit that ended June and make me believe that August 11th was forever away. more importantly, you made me believe that from june 30th-august 11th was all that mattered. you didnt give me the choice to think about the future or the past. you made me forget everything. right there. "the present's just a pleasant interruption to the past"(Something Corporate) I am so fucking tired of waiting for you. I am so fucking tired of hoping that everything will just magically go back to the way it was without explanation. I DO NOT NEED ANOTHER REASON TO MISS HOME. I hate that you make me feel this way, i hate that i let you. and you know what sucks is that i dont even let you anymore. "I can see right through you, you're making your way over again" (The Early November) i wanted to give up a long time ago and then i would catch myself thinking about you and us and everything and i hate you for that i hate me for that. I'm so angry with myself. "you'd like to think that you were invincible, yeah, well weren't we all once, before we felt lost for the first time"(Dashboard Confessional) no, Dashboard I wouldnt like to think I am invincible, in fact i hope to God I'm not invincible and that i'll get knocked off my feet one day, but not like this. this is not how it is suppose to happen. get real kelsey, THIS IS NOVEMBER 23rd!!! for real, am i the only one of us who feels like everything between us is still unresolved? To be honest I didn’t think I would still feel like this after 3 months of basically nothing. But I do and I don’t know why, I can’t figure any of it out and I hate it. I really thought that I was gonna get out of Virginia and within a week it would all be over and I wouldn’t think about any of it again. But I still think about it, even after all this time. Every time we try and talk about stuff like this it’s so, I dunno, not fake but not real either. We both want to say the same empty words over and over again, words that always seem to avoid the reality of it all so we can stay wrapped up in those few moments we have left. We think we are making it easier on ourselves. we'll not me, not anymore, i have to give up. i cannot keep waiting for something that doesn't exist. I've exhausted you to the point where i dont even like you anymore. you're not even that great, really. I mean, you dont possess any qualities that outstand anyone else. So what if you have this fantastic way of making me forget everything in the world or this look that makes my knees shake or this incredible quiet confidence and this unbelievable oblivion that you are worth anyone’s time or energy which makes you worth all of my time and energy. And who cares that through it all you still have the ability to undoubtedly have me just WANT to be around you no matter what. Besides those few, small…who am I kidding, monumental qualities, you aren’t that great, I mean you aren’t very driven, you're not super smart or funny or spontaneous or kind. in fact, you are one of the most soft-spoken, non-opinionated, laid back people I have ever met and that is probably exactly why I give you so much in this scene and I get nothing in return. I’m carrying this scene all the way to curtain call hoping that you will cut me off one of these days and give me something, anything to work with, but no, you’re only good for your one liners and you don’t even want your name in the program. so congratufuckinglations. you got me. you won me over. i have never in my life felt for someone how i feel for you. “its just my luck to end up getting stuck to everything you are”(The Spill Canvas) And I really hope I never do again. Because if this is what people call “the fun of liking someone” then I’m done. I’m not having fun anymore and I want to get off the ride. You’re name has been spinning around my busy little head for far too long and I’m so dizzy I can’t see straight. And it makes me sick to my stomach to know that the next time I see you, I will take one look into those perfect eyes of yours and think…
“spin me around again” (Imogen Heap) because who am I kidding, I know I will. and to be honest, i cant wait.
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(Soak up the Shimmer)
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Sunday, August 27th, 2006
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just check out how money these lyrics are
seriously, how can you write this stuff???
I'm soooo happy I got to see them in concert
incredible.
Step out the front door like a ghost
Into the fog where no one notices
The contrast of white on white
And in between the moon and you
The angels get a better view
Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right
I walk in the air between the rain,
Through myself and back again.
Where? I don't know
Maria says she's dying.
Through the door, I hear her crying
Why? I don't know
Round here we always stand up straight
*Round here something radiates*
Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hand
She said she'd like to meet a boy who looks like Elvis
*She walks along the edge of where the ocean meets the land
Just like she's walking on a wire in the circus*
She parks her car outside of my house
Takes her clothes off,
Says she's close to understanding Jesus
She knows she's more than just a little misunderstood
She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous
Round here we're carving out our names
Round here we all look the same
Round here we talk just like lions
But we sacrifice like lambs
Round here she's slipping though my hands
Sleeping children got to run like the wind
Out of the lightning dream
Mama's little baby better get herself in
Out of the lightning
She says, "It's only in my head."
She says, "Shhh...I know it's only in my head."
But the girl on the car in the parking lot
Says: "Man, you should try to take a shot
Can't you see my walls are crumbling?"
Then she looks up at the building
And says she's thinking of jumping.
She says she's tired of life;
She must be tired of something.
Round here she's always on my mind
Round here I got lots of time
Round here we're never sent to bed early
Nobody makes us wait
Round here we stay up very very late
I can't see nothin nothin, round here
Catch me if I'm fallin
catch me if I'm fallin
catch me cause I'm fallin down on you.
I said I'm under the gun round here.
Oh man I said I'm under the gun, round here.
And I can't see nothin,
nothin, round here
-The Counting Crows
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(1 Towel | Soak up the Shimmer)
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End of Summer Survey
Spent the night with someone?
oh yeah
Drank untill your stomach hurt?
oh god, it all started with beach week
Laughed until you almost peed your pants?
almost every day
Vacation?
2 of the best in my life
beach week in OBX with my best friends ever and AMI with the girls I can't live without plus Billy fucking Brown
Went to the movies?
i think once, which kinda sucks cause there were a bunch I wanted to see
Gone shopping?
hahaha uh yeah
Had a job?
Laurel Hill Golf Club with FMD hottttt, i'll never forget him
Gotten freakishly bored?
i think a couple days i got to that point, not too bad though
Gotten sun burned?
i dont really burn, but yeah a little
Made a bonfire?
yes!! at the lake! good freakin times :)
Been outside during a lightning storm?
yuppp, the day we got back from beach week with christopherrr
Been to another state?
north carolina, maryland and florida
Changed something about your appearance?
nahh
Gone on a road trip?
hell yeah
Had a g/f or b/f?
nope
Kissed someone..
yessss
Been to a concert?
YES adelyn, warped tour and Goo Goo Dolls/Counting Crows since its technically still summer and college is pretty much summer anyways :)
Been in trouble with the cops/parents?
no cops this summer haha. and i really dont get in trouble with the rents anymore, they hate me sometimes, but i guess thats normal
Had a memorable moments?
maybe the most memorable summer ever
but i think i say that every year haha
Had a horrible moment?
more than a moment
Lied to your parents?
oh of course
Snuck out?
no, i just came home at 4am every night/morning haha
Gone skinny dipping?
oh beach week
Made new friends?
hells yeah
Lost old friends?
oh yeah, big time
Missed a friend?
very much
Gone on vacation with no parents?
fuuuck yeah
Slept under the stars?
no, sleeping is for daytime haha
Thought about school?
i tried not to and just be in summertime mode, but of course i thought about college allllll the time haha
Been to the beach?
loooove
Eat fast food?
haha yes
Talked about the government/war?
i hate talking about shit like that
Stole something from a store?
noooo
Went out to a resturant with friends?
yup
Talked with someone over an hour on the phone?
i'm sure
Woke up before 10 when you didnt have to?
for some reason when i get drunk i always wake up early and wanna hang out and then go back to bed around 11 or 12
Reunited with an old friend?
yess, curtis muthafuckin cornelius
summer wouldnt have been the same without him
Thought about a special someone?
wayyy too much
Hoped they thought about you too?
of course
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(Soak up the Shimmer)
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so I like a boy
and I'm having a really good time with it :)
he's fun and cute and i like him
and I was listening to Faster by Third Eye Blind tonight
and started singing my favorite part of it but kinda changed the words
it goes like this
I was hoping you would be waiting there for me Hately
I was hoping you'd be waiting for me
I was hoping you'd be waiting there for me Hately
I was hoping you would be waiting there for me
I was hoping you would be waiting there for me Hately
but you're not the kind that would be waiting
not for anybody
you're not the kind that would be waiting there for anybody
not even me
i think you have to know the song to get me and who I'm talking about
but whatever
my entries are always so gay
hence why i dont update excecpt to get a laugh in a year or so
ha
peeeeeeace
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(1 Towel | Soak up the Shimmer)
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Thursday, February 16th, 2006
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Thursday, December 29th, 2005
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well tomorrow I am headed off to the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvannia to welcome 2006 motha fuckas!
I'm super excited to play with the cool kids for 2 whole days!!
holler back.
"it's been a long December and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last"
:)
OH FA SHO!
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(1 Towel | Soak up the Shimmer)
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Thursday, December 15th, 2005
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| Subject: | december |
| Time: | 4:11 pm. |
| Mood: |  really good. | | Music: | follow you down-gin blossoms. |
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Approximately 6 months until graduation! YESSSS!
and just as a general note, I'm am so happy these days. seriously, home life is good, school is fun and easy, weekends are awesome, everyone's coming back into town. besides the snow and the coldness and winter colds and the lack of money haha my life really couldn't be any better :)
Love Kelsey
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(Soak up the Shimmer)
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Thursday, December 1st, 2005
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Well guys, I got accepted into the University of North Carolina.
so, I guess won't be a Virginia girl for much longer.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!! sorry, I tried to keep it cool for this entry but fuck that! I'm sooooo effing excited!
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(8 Towels | Soak up the Shimmer)
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Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
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yes, I realize that my last 3 entries have been stupid surveys but who cares? I gotta admit, they're fun.
1. FIRST NAME?
Kelsey
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My parents were big Cheers fans, so yeah, Kelsey Grammer
3. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
shooting ones only
4. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
my pointers
5. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
uh......a couple weeks ago I think
6. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
most of the time, sometimes I just scribble
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
turkey
8. ANY BAD HABITS?
I bite my nails or bite my lower lip when I'm nervous
9. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
probably Spice Girls
10. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS
WITH YOU?
this question is pretty impossible. but ya, I like me. hahaha.
11. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
yup
12. DO LOOKS MATTER?
yup
13. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
venting to someone about it, getting opinions about it from other people.
14. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
Anna Maria, Florida hands down
15. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
yes, I love telling people things. I guess I'm naive. hahahha. whatever.
16. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
My American Girl Samantha Doll
17. WHAT CLASS IN SCHOOL DO YOU THINK IS TOTALLY USELESS?
I really don't think any class is useless. Its just really useless for students to be required to take courses they know they won't study for life or have no interest in at all.
18. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
this is about it
19. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
yes
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
too scared :/
21. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
good conversationalist, GREAT sense of humor, someone who is able to make decisions (cause I'm completely incapable), optomistic, outgoing, easy going, good looking and fun as hell.
22. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Kel, Kels, Kelso, Mahoney, Jamey, Krunch, GIT.
23. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I'd be nervous as hell and wanna back out, but when it came down to it, I'd do it.
24. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
when I wear running shoes, definitely not.
25. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE STRONG POINTS?
most definitely
26. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
mint chocolate chip
27. What is your shoe size?
7.5
28. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS?
green and yellow
29.HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
2
30. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
SUMMER!
31. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
yeah, its fun
32. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Mae
33. LAST THING YOU ATE?
chicken nuggets
34. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Bonnie
35. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
face and their hair
36. DO YOU LOVE THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS?
Love to hate him hahaha
37. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
today was a really good day, I'm extremely tired right now though
38. FAVORITE DRINK?
diet coke and peach tea
39. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Riesling
40.WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
baseball
41. HAIR COLOR?
brown
42. EYE COLOR?
dark blue
43. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
nope
44. SIBLINGS?
2 sisters
45. FAVORITE MONTH?
July
46. FAVORITE FOOD?
sandwiches
47. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
50 First Dates, I watch that damn movie once a month. Adam Sandler is so perfect.
48. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
sunny ones
49. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
I've never wanted to ask someone out who hasn't asked me out first
50. SUMMER OR WINTER?
summer, fool
51. HUGS OR KISSES?
I looooooove kissing. But ya know, hugs are good, especially when you just stay there for a couple extra seconds, yeah, its good and you can do with everyone. Not just anybody gets kisses.
52. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
neither interest me too much. hahaha. but relationships please,
53. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
someone who is bored like me
54. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
someone who doens't look at livejournal
55. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
The Person I Once Was by Cindy Lou Johnson, a one-act from James
56. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Dell
57. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
LIfe
58. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
The Real World and MTV's 70's House (I'm so glad Andrew won!)
59. FAVORITE SMELLS?
being near the ocean and driving down the road at night and smelling the summer air.
60. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
I wonder if something wonderful will happen today
61. SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS:
silvano's a good driver
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(5 Towels | Soak up the Shimmer)
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Monday, September 5th, 2005
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Sunday, September 4th, 2005
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Summer of '05.
TEN Things You Did;
o1. went clubbing
o2. Seussical the Musical
o3. Got in my 2nd car accident with Silvano ;)
o4. Flew on a plane alone for the first time
O5. Had the most amazing family vacation EVER!
o6. went to a wedding on the beach and partied with all my parents friends after (hells yes)
o7. Swung on my swings probably more than I have in the 5 years I’ve had them
o8. finally got to “know” a couple people that I had known for too long without actually “knowing” them.
o9. Spent all my summer nights with boys……as always
1o. Trespassed on Federal Property to see the most beautiful thing in NOVA…twice
NINE Favorite Bands/Singers of the Summer;
o1. Mae
o2. 311
o3. Hanson
o4. Aqualung
o5. Coldplay
o6. Foo Fighters
o7. Kelly Clarkson
o8. David Grey
o9. Green Day
EIGHT Places You Ate At;
o1. Wendys
o2. The Anna Maria Pier
o3. Boston Market
o4. Joe’s Crab Shack
o5. Dips
o6. Hooters
o7. That Spanish restaurant with Molly and Silvano
o8. Mai Tai
SEVEN Things that Annoyed You;
o1. Janet Jackson hahaha
o2. Orphan Annie hahahahahaha
o3. Boots’ daughter hahahahahahaha
o4. starting the nights too late
o5. my parents ruining the last night of AMI
o6. people leaving for college geez…jerks
o7. my feelings toward August
SIX Things You Bought;
o1. alcohal
o2. clothes
o3. gas
o4. food
o5. magazines
o6. who am i kidding? shannon bought me everything this summer hahaha.
FIVE Things You Accomplished;
o1. seussical
o2. brad…hahaha
o3. making friends
o4. 6th time beer pong champ
o5. making my way to SENIOR YEAR!
FOUR Movies You Saw;
o1. Must Love Dogs
o2. Unfaithful
o3. Amelie
o4. 40 year old virgin
THREE Things You Wish You Did;
o1. jumped off the rock at the quarry
o2. read more
o3. road trip to NY with the boys
TWO Rules You Broke;
o1. underage drinking
o2. trespassing on federal property
ONE Thing You LOVED About This Summer;
o1. I’d like to thing of Summer ’05 as MY summer. I didn’t have a partner in crime that lasted me the whole 3 months. It was original and full of adventure. I’m taking more out of this summer than I have with any other summer. What I mean is, in the past summers, what has happened, basically stayed there, this time I’m taking things with me. And yes, it stays with me as merely a memory, but hey life is only as good as the memories we make.
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(1 Towel | Soak up the Shimmer)
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Thursday, September 1st, 2005
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Thursday, August 25th, 2005
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| Subject: | old |
| Time: | 3:17 am. |
| Mood: |  amused. | | Music: | movies-alien ant farm. |
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okay...
so lately i feel really fucking old.
i guess it's all these younger kids adopting my quotes and favorite lyrics and stuff. hahaha.
its cute. go for it.
kels.
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(2 Towels | Soak up the Shimmer)
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Monday, August 15th, 2005
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well ladies and gentlemen, it's official. I'm feeling it all over. The end of summer. I mean, technically I have 3 weeks left, if you want to be even more technical it's over a month, however, it's no longer what I consider summer. I dunno. It's somehow transitioned into "awaiting school for three weeks" which completely blows because I know a couple weeks into school and I'm going to wish I still had those three weeks left.
I'm excited and anxious to get school started and I'm also nervous and aprehensive. I'm ready for a routine I think. I need to get back into a schedule so I can appreciate the free time that I have. I'm excited about doing another show and being a senior. I'm not so excited about applying to college because of the thought that I have no idea where I want to go, let alone if I want to go at all...
ahh, decisions to be made. I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason and I have no doubt that they will. I made madrigals, but I'm not sure if that's still what it's called. haha. I'm excited about football games and sweaters and jackets and I was watching Love Actually yesterday and it got me really excited about Christmas. I'm excited about a new look for Hayfield. being less massive and what not. I'm soooo excited about breaks this semester, I love having things to look forward to and it's almost worth losing all the college kids so I can be excited to see them over breaks. It's so silly, I know.
I got back from JMU today. went for a few days to get my mind off missing people and Florida. It was a good time. I missed it. I hadn't been since December. which doesn't seem real. seems like a lifetime ago. anyway, it was good to get away and good to be back home.
I wanna make this transition into school as pleasant as possible.
so let's hang out.
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(2 Towels | Soak up the Shimmer)
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Thursday, August 11th, 2005
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So every once in awhile I like to go back and read my entries from this time last year, or the year before, just to see what I was doing or feeling. I just read the entry I wrote when I got home from Anna Maria last year and I guess it inspired me to fill everyone in on how lucky I am to vacation there.
So if I talk to you on a regular basis you probably know what its all about. It's this beatiful island in the Gulf of Mexico where all my parents friends have been going for years. Their friend Kerry has family on the island and starting invited friends to come down. So eventually people started talking about it and this year it got up to about 60 that we knew going down and renting houses and staying for a week or so.
Anyway, its the most incredible vacation ever because it doens't even feel like one. I mean, you go to an island in Florida, rent houses, and just hang out all the time. It basically feels like you just live there and you can just go and you don't have to think about anything in Virginia because its almost as if you are just living another life. damn. I wish I could help you understand it better.
I guess it was really the company that made it so awesome. Everywhere you looked, you knew someone and all of us were very close.
Matt, Shannon, Lane, Brad, Me, Kate, Leah, Casey, Chelsea, Erica, another Chelsea, Ross, Cameron, Andy, Nick, Kyle, another Kelsey, Emily, Kalee, Ali, Jordan, Spencer, Jesse, Harrison, Addy, Emmy, Christina, and Bryan. I believe that might be all the kids there, and when I say kids I just mean, people we hung out with, cause technically Matt is 24 and Shannon is 21, but whatever.
So ya, thats a lot.
My parents opinion of me probably changed a lot last week. lol. I got in trouble a lot. but I mean, i wouldn't change a thing....well maybe one thing.
We beached it up everyday...obviously, when you have the gulf outside your house, who wouldn't?
Had noodle wars.
kayaking.
jet skiing.
snorkeling.
Watched Chapelle's Show.
Played at the pool.
Rode bikes.
and nights consisted of playing pool at Tip of the Island. (shannon and I kicking Matt and Brad's ass btw)
playing our beloved card games till late hours of the morning.
sneaking into the pool at 3am.
getting kicked out of Tip of the Island
and getting caught by my parents doing something or other. lol.
The wedding was awesome too. It was very simple but it was so pretty and sweet. There's a picture on myspace.
There was sort of an after party at their house after. IT was freaking awesome.
All the adults were getting wasted and they let the older kids drink too. It was pretty insane drinking with people that you've grown up with and parents that watched you grow up. The wedding night sorta set the pace for the week. But I mean, what can you do when your sister is 21. lol.
there was so much damn drama this year too. Shannon and I knew going into it that there would be, I mean, we are all growing up and when you have 20 something kids running around an island, shit happens.
shannon and I just happened to be in the middle of all the drama because all the boys had crushes on us and insisted on telling us and everyone else every day. and then you have all of Ali's friends buzzing around in everyone's business too. lol. It's like living in a week long soap opera. and I love it.
Of course I was anticipating an amazing time, but I don't think I could have ever imagined what I got.
i've been to some awesome places and I'm sure I have lots more to visit. But I don't think ever vacation will ever be compared to AMI.
definitely the hilight of my summer and I cannot wait to go back. :)
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(Soak up the Shimmer)
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Okay, so coming out of yesterday I don't think I could be in a better mood.
I'm excited about the show tonight and the rest of this weekend.
I'm excited that Shannon just walked in the door.
I'm excited that we are getting ready to pack.
I'm excited about going to Scott's house tonight to party with cast people.
I'm excited about seeing show people again.
I'm excited about chinese food tonight.
I'm excited that I'm going to Anna Maria on Sunday and seeing all those crazy kids.
I'm excited about the group of people I've been spending my time with lately
I'm excited about a recent IM conversation.
and I'm excited about text messages from certain people.
yes, ladies and gentlemen, life is good...for now.lol.
I'm so happy I don't even care that my parents saw and smelled beer on my car......thanks silvie.
oh well. you only live once.
come see the show this weekend.
peace.
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(1 Towel | Soak up the Shimmer)
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melloyello324's journal
tired.
relaxed.
curious.
super freakin excited.
sleepy.
blah.
unsure.
hopeful.